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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2013 11:34:14 GMT -6
JOHN CENA
HAS THE MOST DIFFICULT JOB IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING HISTORY. HE WORKS HARDER THAN EVERYONE IN THE COMPANY COMBINED, IS MR. MAKE-A-WISH, DOES ALL THE PROMOTIONAL SHIT, AND THEN HIS REWARD IS HE HAS TO CARRY SOME GOATFACE MIDGET IN A MATCH THAT IS ONLY HAPPENING BECAUSE THE CHICK HE'S FUCKING IS ON HER OWN TV SHOW NOW, AND HAS A SISTER WHO'S FUCKING THE GNOME. DUDE IS A TROOPER, WE SHOULD ALL TAKE A MOMENT TO BE GRATEFUL FOR THE EXISTENCE OF JOHN CENA.
OKAY MOMENT OVER
BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD
JOBBING TO TONS OF FUNK ON FREE TV
DOLPH ZIGGLER
IS NOT BEING PUNISHED FOR GETTING A CONCUSSION. HE'S JUST BEING RE-EVALUATED AS A MAIN-EVENT WORKER ENTIRELY. BUT HEY, YOU GET A MIXED TAG MATCH AND GET TO JERK OFF TO AJ LEE AGAIN, SO STOP TWEETING ME.
WATCH TOTAL DIVAS
BIG E LANGSTON
I REALLY LIKE THIS GUY. HE REMINDS ME OF MYSELF, IF I WERE A GIANT BLACK MAN. WHICH I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I AM, IN A WAY. YOU KNOW, EXCEPT FOR THE WHOLE BLACK PART. BUT THAT MIGHT BE KIND OF COOL FOR A DAY OR TWO. I DON'T KNOW, I'VE NEVER REALLY BEEN AROUND BLACK PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF THE COMPANY AND THEY USUALLY DON'T TALK TO ME VERY MUCH OUTSIDE OF MEETINGS.
ROB VAN DAM
WILL DO...STUFF. YEAH. SHUT UP, HE'S UNIQUE AND FRESH AND IT DOESN'T MATTER IF HE'S IN A FEUD OR NOT. THE FANS GO "YAY RVD" AND BUY T-SHIRTS. PLUS, THEY'RE ALL HIGH ON WEED SO THEY BUY MORE FOOD AND THEN THEY SPILL THEIR FOOD ON THE NEW SHIRT SO THEY HAVE TO BUY ANOTHER NEW SHIRT. HEY, MAYBE I SHOULD TRY TO WORK THE WHOLE "RVD BRINGS POTHEADS WHO SPEND MORE ON CONCESSIONS" ANGLE WHEN WE NEGOTIATE WITH THESE ARENAS. OH, BY THE WAY, THANKS TNA!
WATCH TOTAL DIVAS
BRAD MADDOX
WAIT, HE STILL WORKS HERE? WHATEVER, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH THE AUTHORITY FIGURE SITUATION ON RAW AND I'M TOO BUSY ENJOYING MY TV TIME, SO FUCK IT.
MY SEXY GORGEOUS DAUGHTER
HAS IMPROVED A LOT AS AN ACTRESS. NO SERIOUSLY, STOP LAUGHING. GO BACK AND WATCH GREATER POWER RAW AND SEE HOW HORRIBLE SHE WAS. THEN GO WATCH SLUT-CHANT STEPHANIE AFTER SHE HAD TRIPLE H BRAIN ME WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER. THEN WATCH THE LAST FEW RAWS SHE'S BEEN ON. SHE WENT FROM "HAS NO BUSINESS EVEN TRYING OUT FOR A REALITY SHOW" TO "MIGHT BE ONE OF THE PEOPLE IN LINE FOR A BIT ROLE IN A SOAP OPERA; SHE'D NEVER GET THE ROLE OF COURSE, BUT SHE'S TRYING, SORT OF" -- AND THAT TAKES TALENT AND DEDICATION. WHICH SHE TOTALLY GOT FROM ME, BY THE WAY. BUT YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT.
WATCH TOTAL DIVAS
ALBERTO DEL RIO
I FORGOT HE WAS WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. HE'S GOING TO BEAT CHRISTIAN AT THE PAY-PER-VIEW, AS IF THAT WASN'T OBVIOUS BY ME BOOKING THEM IN A NON-TITLE MATCH TWO WEEKS BEFORE I'M EXPECTING YOU TO SHELL OUT MONEY. BUT DON'T WORRY - I DON'T ACTUALLY THINK ANYONE IS EVER GOING TO PAY MONEY TO SEE ALBERTO DEL RIO VS. FOREVER-EDGE'S-SIDEKICK ANYWAY. POST-SUMMERSLAM, I'LL PROBABLY BOOK RVD IN A QUICKIE FEUD WITH ADR AT SOME POINT, JUST TO MAKE THE DIRT SHEET NERDS THINK I HAD PLANNED FOR RVD TO HAVE A BIG-BELT PUSH FROM THE GET-GO.
DAMIEN SANDOW
AIN'T CASHING IN TIL AFTER MANIA, NERDS. SAVE THE POWER-STROKING FOR A FEW MONTHS. I MEAN, YOU SHOULD ALREADY KINDA HAVE AN IDEA THAT IT'S GOING TO BE A WHILE, SINCE I HAVEN'T BOOKED HIM IN 138 LOSING MATCHES AND 47 CASH-IN TEASES YET.
WATCH TOTAL DIVAS
SOME FAT FUCK
APPARENTLY PISSED OFF KANE ALMOST AS MUCH AS THE INESCAPABLE TRUTH THAT THE LIBERTARIAN PARTY IS NOT EVER GOING TO PRODUCE A VIABLE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE THAT COULD WIN A GENERAL ELECTION. ANYWAY, LONG STORY SHORT, KANE CAME TO ME BACKSTAGE AND SAID, IN SO MANY WORDS, "LET ME LIGHT THAT FAT FUCK ON FIRE PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE" BUT I HAD TO REMIND HIM THAT WE'RE TV-PG NOW, SO WE CAN'T DO INFERNO MATCHES. HOWEVER, I REALLY LIKE THE IDEA OF KANE "ACCIDENTALLY" LIGHTING A RANDOM SLACKJAWED YOKEL JANITOR UP LIKE CORN WRAPPED IN TIN FOIL, SO WE'RE GONNA SURROUND THE RING WITH FIRE ANYWAY. YOUR MOVE, YARD-DICK.
PAUL E. FATASSEDLY
IS GOING TO "FIGHT" CM PUNK AND BY "FIGHT" I MEAN "LOOK LIKE A TOTAL BITCH FOR MAYBE 30 SECONDS AND THEN BROCK KILLS THE SHIT OUT OF PUNK AGAIN", OF COURSE. I MAY BE COMPLETELY CRAZY, BUT EVEN I'M NOT STUPID ENOUGH TO HOT-SHOT THE ENDGAME OF THE PUNK-HEYMAN FEUD ON FREE TV BEFORE HE EVEN FIGHTS BROCK LESNAR.
OR AM I?!
ALL THIS AND MUCH MORE
8pm ET/5pm PT
ON
USA
HAVE YOU SET YOUR DVR TO RECORD TOTAL DIVAS YET? |
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Post by LucklessWonder on Aug 12, 2013 11:40:44 GMT -6
Okay, still not watching live because I've been catching up, and want to get all caught up before SummerSlam. I'm doing that by watching WWE PPVs, and then the Raws after the most recent PPV.
So far, I've watched Extreme Rules & Payback.
Extreme Rules was incredibly bland and unmemorable. Nothing really stands out apart from the rather bullshit way that they didn't have Ryback win the LMS match.
Payback, though, Payback was really, really good. Yeah the Cena/Ryback match was an utter bore. Punk/Jericho was an easy MOTY contender, as Jericho finally brought his working boots and A game for the first time since his return.
The Alberto Del Rio heel turn was really well done and the booking made sense. Not totally sure what in means for Dolph though.
Curtis Axel stealing the pin while Wade was in the figure four leg lock was clever heel/opportunist move and seems a very Heyman type idea to me. It also seemed like a sort of move the old Rated R Superstar would have done.
And I got my first exposure to the current IWC darlings the Wyatt Family in a little promo hype video. So far, I'm not seeing what the fuss is about.
Glad to see the Shield are still being booked strong.
Next up, MITB which I'll enjoy because outside of the Royal Rumble, multi-man laddermatches are my favorite gimmick matches to watch.
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Post by hobblekitty on Aug 12, 2013 16:42:30 GMT -6
Smiths:
Looks like someone misplaced their zeros and ones.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2013 17:16:10 GMT -6
A guy who mailed in to PWinsider actually had a really good idea:
Open Summerslam with ADR v Christian, Sandow cashes in, Cody gets Vickie to make the Sandow vs Cody match later in the show a WHC match and Cody wins.
Pretty sure I'd mark the fuck out for it, but I'm 100% convinced they're having Orton cash-in on Bryan immediately after Bryan beats Cena, and I doubt they'd go through the fall without someone holding a briefcase. And Sandow's briefcase is way cooler.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2013 17:48:30 GMT -6
Testes, Testes, 1, 2...3?
(cloudflare error message)
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Post by Smart Ass Monkey on Aug 12, 2013 17:54:25 GMT -6
Fuck, Smiths! What did you do to the board??
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Post by Smart Ass Monkey on Aug 12, 2013 18:02:47 GMT -6
god, i really am sick of King and his "these were old 50 years ago" jokes.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2013 18:02:55 GMT -6
SEXY REF IS BACK
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2013 18:03:50 GMT -6
or pretty ref? whatever. I can't keep track of internet wrestling man-crush nicknames
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Post by Smart Ass Monkey on Aug 12, 2013 18:08:57 GMT -6
ug
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2013 18:10:36 GMT -6
what the shitfuck was that piss ass?
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Post by Smart Ass Monkey on Aug 12, 2013 18:10:57 GMT -6
well, that opening segment has me ready to turn of Raw and play more Borderlands.
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Post by pmoneyallstar on Aug 12, 2013 18:12:22 GMT -6
It's the go-home show and its a gonna suck
Zigs should be main eventing summerslam.
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Post by hobblekitty on Aug 12, 2013 18:13:47 GMT -6
To those having an issue with Cloudflare errors: they thought they had it fixed at one point this week but apparently they haven't yet because others outside our board are still reporting errors. Unfortunately there isn't anything else I can do at this time but keep my eye on the board and see if I get any new information. If I do I will let you know. You may also find it helpful to contact Cloudflare directly regarding this issue.
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Post by Smart Ass Monkey on Aug 12, 2013 18:15:01 GMT -6
hobblekitty: To those having an issue with Cloudflare errors: they thought they had it fixed at one point this week but apparently they haven't yet because others outside our board are still reporting errors. Unfortunately there isn't anything else I can do at this time but keep my eye on the board and see if I get any new information. If I do I will let you know. You may also find it helpful to contact Cloudflare directly regarding this issue. I blame Smiths
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2013 18:15:19 GMT -6
I hope he uses the briefcase as a weapon with the ref's back turned because nobody would see it coming ever.
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Post by Smart Ass Monkey on Aug 12, 2013 18:15:51 GMT -6
Orton match after the first segment clusterfuck?
yeah, Tiny Tina is calling my name.
back later, all
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Post by pmoneyallstar on Aug 12, 2013 18:16:44 GMT -6
I hope he uses the briefcase as a weapon with the ref's back turned because nobody would see it coming ever. From...out of nowhere? |
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Post by Smart Ass Monkey on Aug 12, 2013 18:16:58 GMT -6
ok, i'll leave in a moment.
Just wanted to share this good news first
- A few weeks ago on Raw, John Cena showed off an elbow injury where he said the elbow "looked like a football." Reports from within the company indicate that the injury is worse than Cena and WWE are leading fans to believe. The severity of the injury isn't clear, though it is believed to be quite serious. [Credit: Wrestling Observer Newsletter]
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Post by pmoneyallstar on Aug 12, 2013 18:22:15 GMT -6
I take it Orton sent Sandow to the outside of the ring and it went to commercial?
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Post by hobblekitty on Aug 12, 2013 18:23:35 GMT -6
Chase Sandow protecting the MITB briefcase. But a simple animal, and how sad that even this cur possesses the mental acuity that makes it capable of enlightening the unwashed masses in the ways of the noble, and loyal, intellect. You're welcome.  |
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Post by hobblekitty on Aug 12, 2013 18:25:00 GMT -6
Smiths: hobblekitty : To those having an issue with Cloudflare errors: they thought they had it fixed at one point this week but apparently they haven't yet because others outside our board are still reporting errors. Unfortunately there isn't anything else I can do at this time but keep my eye on the board and see if I get any new information. If I do I will let you know. You may also find it helpful to contact Cloudflare directly regarding this issue.
Link
Aug 12, 2013 9:35:26 GMT -8 Michael Stone said:
Update!
Cloudflare has identified the source of the problem. However the complexity of the problem is...breathtaking. The basic outline (without making things too confusing) is that they're dealing with a fundamental conflict between two ironclad rules. The resolution is basically "rewrite the rules of the internet" which isn't nearly as easy as it sounds.
We've been given no time estimate on a possible "fix" but they are still working on the issue. Yeah they can't talk to each other. I figured, lol.
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Post by gunnyhighway on Aug 12, 2013 18:25:35 GMT -6
Anything good so far?
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Post by gunnyhighway on Aug 12, 2013 18:26:25 GMT -6
In honor of the upcoming NFL season:
Summer Slam looks pretty good on paper.
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Post by gunnyhighway on Aug 12, 2013 18:27:17 GMT -6
Jerry forgot he is the face announcer now. Oops.
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Post by gunnyhighway on Aug 12, 2013 18:30:57 GMT -6
Good match. Good end.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2013 18:31:55 GMT -6
I liked that match and the commentary from Rhodes/JBL and the ending. Good recovery from the what-the-shit opener
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2013 18:34:29 GMT -6
Ambrose is AWESOME. And the other two are improving greatly on the mic. FUCK YES.
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Post by lurch_E_bean on Aug 12, 2013 18:38:39 GMT -6
I love me some Dean Ambrose, but I chuckled a bit at that claim that the US Title was the "real WWE championship". I would imagine he's right about people running away from that title, though...
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Post by gunnyhighway on Aug 12, 2013 18:49:06 GMT -6
Senile Vince: I liked that match and the commentary from Rhodes/JBL and the ending. Good recovery from the what-the-shit opener What happened? lurch_E_bean: I love me some Dean Ambrose, but I chuckled a bit at that claim that the US Title was the "real WWE championship". I would imagine he's right about people running away from that title, though... That was the best Shield segment in a while.
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