Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2013 17:36:20 GMT -6
TONIGHT
ACTUALLY BEFORE I BEGIN I JUST WANT TO SAY SOMETHING TO THE FOLKS AT TNA. I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU. YOU'VE FINALLY GRADUATED OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET AT EPCOT CENTER OR WHEREVER THE FUCK YOU USED TO DO ALL YOUR SHOWS FROM. AND THAT ANGLE LAST NIGHT WAS... WELL, I HAVE NO IDEA BECAUSE I DIDN'T WATCH IT. I WAS SNORTING BATH SALTS WITH HOWARD FINKEL. THAT GUY GETS FUCKING CRAZY ON DRUGS. I SERIOUSLY WAS AFRAID FOR MY LIFE FOR A WHILE, UNTIL HE HAD TO TAKE A SHIT FOR SIX HOURS.
ANYWAY:
BROCK LESNAR
WILL DELIVER A REALLY TERRIBLE PROMO WITH PAUL HEYMAN TOTALLY CARRYING THE ENTIRE SEGMENT. HE'LL REFUSE HHH'S CHALLENGE AND INSTEAD THREATEN HIM WITH ANOTHER LAWSUIT. THEIR "MATCH" IS ACTUALLY GOING TO BE A LEGAL BATTLE, WITH ME AND MY SON-IN-LAW VS. WALRUS AND BITCHFACE. OH, AND THE JUDGE IS GOING TO BE MY SURPRISINGLY MILFY DAUGHTER. ALSO, THAT CLOSES WRESTLEMANIA. TWIST ENDING, BITCHES!
THE UNDERTAKER
IS OLD AND WHY ARE WE DOING THIS, CM PUNK SHOULD BE GETTING PINNED BY RYBACK 1-2-3 IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING. I MAY JUST SAY FUCK THIS SHIT AND MAKE RYBACK-HENRY A TRIPLE THREAT.
CHRIS JERICHO
IS GONNA BEAT DOLPH ZIGGLER AT WRESTLEMANIA TO CEMENT HIS LEGACY AS A GUY WHO WINS GREAT MATCHES NOBODY CARES ABOUT.
JOHN CENA AND THE ROCK
YOU KNOW, I REALLY SHOULD HAVE STARTED THIS ENTIRE THING WITH THAT. FUCK, WHAT ARE THEY DOING TONIGHT? BAH, DOESN'T MATTER, YOU MORONS WILL BUMP THAT RATING TO THE MOON IF IT'S THE TWO OF THEM TAKING DUELING THUNDERSHITS IN ONE OF THE ARENA MEN'S ROOMS. I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR, MY BALLS COULD BE THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA AND YOU'D PAY MONEY TO SEE IF I ACTUALLY DROPPED THE SACK OF GRAPEFRUITS ON PAY-PER-VIEW.
UNDER 25 MINUTES AWAY
8pm EDT LIVE on USA
ACTUALLY BEFORE I BEGIN I JUST WANT TO SAY SOMETHING TO THE FOLKS AT TNA. I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU. YOU'VE FINALLY GRADUATED OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET AT EPCOT CENTER OR WHEREVER THE FUCK YOU USED TO DO ALL YOUR SHOWS FROM. AND THAT ANGLE LAST NIGHT WAS... WELL, I HAVE NO IDEA BECAUSE I DIDN'T WATCH IT. I WAS SNORTING BATH SALTS WITH HOWARD FINKEL. THAT GUY GETS FUCKING CRAZY ON DRUGS. I SERIOUSLY WAS AFRAID FOR MY LIFE FOR A WHILE, UNTIL HE HAD TO TAKE A SHIT FOR SIX HOURS.
ANYWAY:
BROCK LESNAR
WILL DELIVER A REALLY TERRIBLE PROMO WITH PAUL HEYMAN TOTALLY CARRYING THE ENTIRE SEGMENT. HE'LL REFUSE HHH'S CHALLENGE AND INSTEAD THREATEN HIM WITH ANOTHER LAWSUIT. THEIR "MATCH" IS ACTUALLY GOING TO BE A LEGAL BATTLE, WITH ME AND MY SON-IN-LAW VS. WALRUS AND BITCHFACE. OH, AND THE JUDGE IS GOING TO BE MY SURPRISINGLY MILFY DAUGHTER. ALSO, THAT CLOSES WRESTLEMANIA. TWIST ENDING, BITCHES!
THE UNDERTAKER
IS OLD AND WHY ARE WE DOING THIS, CM PUNK SHOULD BE GETTING PINNED BY RYBACK 1-2-3 IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING. I MAY JUST SAY FUCK THIS SHIT AND MAKE RYBACK-HENRY A TRIPLE THREAT.
CHRIS JERICHO
IS GONNA BEAT DOLPH ZIGGLER AT WRESTLEMANIA TO CEMENT HIS LEGACY AS A GUY WHO WINS GREAT MATCHES NOBODY CARES ABOUT.
JOHN CENA AND THE ROCK
YOU KNOW, I REALLY SHOULD HAVE STARTED THIS ENTIRE THING WITH THAT. FUCK, WHAT ARE THEY DOING TONIGHT? BAH, DOESN'T MATTER, YOU MORONS WILL BUMP THAT RATING TO THE MOON IF IT'S THE TWO OF THEM TAKING DUELING THUNDERSHITS IN ONE OF THE ARENA MEN'S ROOMS. I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR, MY BALLS COULD BE THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA AND YOU'D PAY MONEY TO SEE IF I ACTUALLY DROPPED THE SACK OF GRAPEFRUITS ON PAY-PER-VIEW.
UNDER 25 MINUTES AWAY
8pm EDT LIVE on USA
