Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2013 13:09:02 GMT -6
THIS EDITION OF
TONIGHT
IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE
WWE APP
JOHN CENA
IS GOING TO DEFEAT MARK HENRY AND RETAIN THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP. PRETTY SURE I ALREADY RAN DOWN HOW THIS GOES: A BUNCH OF WORLD'S STRONGEST SLAMS, KICKOUT AT TWO, CENA THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE, CENA DRAGGED BACK INTO THE RING, A FEW MORE WORLD'S STRONGEST SLAMS, KICKOUT AT TWO, SHOULDER TACKLES, SHITTY DROPKICK, THAT SPINNY SLAM THI... EMERALD FLOWSION? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? OKAY WHATEVER. HE DOES THAT THEN THE "YOU CAN'T SEE ME" AND HENRY GETS UP AND CENA HITS THE AA. 1-2... KICKOUT. CENA LOCKS IN THE STF AND I KNOW YOU'RE THINKING "OH GOD THAT'S GONNA LOOK HORRIBLE" BUT ACTUALLY IT'LL LOOK EVEN MORE DEVASTATING THAN IT USUALLY DOES. HENRY TAPS OUT AND LIVES IN SHAME FOR THE REST OF HIS CAREER.
BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD
JOBBING AT THEPPV PRE-SHOW
RANDY ORTON
IS GOING TO WIN A MONEY IN THE BANK BRIEFCASE AND TURN HEEL. OR MAYBE DANIEL BRYAN. OR NEITHER. I HAVEN'T REALLY DECIDED WHO SHOULD WIN, BUT I DEFINITELY KNOW THAT CM PUNK IS NOT WINNING, BECAUSE KANE'S REPLACEMENT IS GOING TO BE CURTIS AXEL AND CM PUNK WILL GRAB THE MIC AND BE LIKE "OH FUCK THIS I HATE YOU PAUL I HATE YOU VINCE I HATE EVERYTHING I'M A WHINY NERD WHO LIKES HOCKEY AND TWITTER AND TATTOOS WAH WAH WAH WHY CAN'T I HAVE MY WAY" BECAUSE HE'S A BITCHASS BITCH. FUCK IT, SHEAMUS WINS.
GET THE APP
FUCK YEAH RYBACK!
MAN IT FEELS GOOD TO SAY THAT AGAIN, HE'S GONNA BREAK OUT OF THE WALLS OF JERICHO. HE'S THEN GOING TO HIT JERICHO WITH 502 VARIATIONS OF AN ARMBAR BEFORE THE SHELL-SHOCK FOR THREE. THEN, RYBACK WILL PUT JERICHO ON HIS SHOULDERS AGAIN AND CLIMB TO THE TOP OF A LADDER AND SHELL SHOCK HIM FROM THERE, WHICH WILL SIDELINE JERICHO FOR HOWEVER LONG HIS BAND IS PLAYING THIS TIME. I GOTTA GO CHECK THEM OUT. "IRVINE AND THE MUPPETS", RIGHT?
GET THE APP
SOME FAT FUCK
AND HIS INBRED FRIENDS BEAT UP KANE. SECURITY WOULD HAVE KEPT THEM OUT OF THE BUILDING IF THEY DIDN'T LOOK LIKE HALF THE AUDIENCE. I DOUBT YOU'LL SEE THEM TONIGHT, HE'S REALLY FAT SO WALKING OVER TO KANE AFTER BUBBA AND CLETUS GOT DONE WAS PROBABLY VERY TIRING AND HE MAY HAVE PULLED A MUSCLE GETTING OUT OF THE ROCKING CHAIR.
SERIOUSLY GET THE GODDAMN APP
ALBERTO DEL RIO
IS GOING TO RETAIN THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP AFTER BEATING DOLPH ZIGGLER CLEAN WITH THE CROSS-ARM BREAKER. SORRY, BUT WHEN YOU GET A CONCUSSION YOU ARE RELEGATED TO MIDCARD FOR A YEAR. IT'S A RULE IN THE WELLNESS POLICY, IN A SECTION... I BELIEVE IT WAS TITLED "FUCK YOU SMARKS" BUT I COULD BE MISTAKEN ON THE EXACT WORDING OF THE NAME.
AJ LEE AND KAITLYN
BONER ACHIEVED
NOTE TO SELF: DIVAS APP
JACK SWAGGER
IS GOING TO WIN THE OTHER MONEY IN THE BANK MATCH BECAUSE OUT OF ALL OF THE POSSIBLE CHOICES HE SEEMS LIKE THE ONE THAT WILL PISS SMARKS OFF THE MOST. AGAIN, REFER TO THE IMAGE ON THE LEFT IF YOU WISH TO FILE A COMPLAINT.
ROB VAN DAM
WOULD RATHER GET PAID TO BE A JOBBER HERE THAN GET PAID TO BE A JOBBERER JOBBER IN TNA.
WIN-WIN, BITCHES!
ALL THIS AND MUCH MORE
8pm ET/5pm PT
ON
PPV
DON'T FORGET THE PRESHOW ON YOUTUBE
AND DON'T FORGET GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING MONEY
APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP
[/b][/size][/center]TONIGHT
IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE
WWE APP
JOHN CENA
IS GOING TO DEFEAT MARK HENRY AND RETAIN THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP. PRETTY SURE I ALREADY RAN DOWN HOW THIS GOES: A BUNCH OF WORLD'S STRONGEST SLAMS, KICKOUT AT TWO, CENA THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE, CENA DRAGGED BACK INTO THE RING, A FEW MORE WORLD'S STRONGEST SLAMS, KICKOUT AT TWO, SHOULDER TACKLES, SHITTY DROPKICK, THAT SPINNY SLAM THI... EMERALD FLOWSION? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? OKAY WHATEVER. HE DOES THAT THEN THE "YOU CAN'T SEE ME" AND HENRY GETS UP AND CENA HITS THE AA. 1-2... KICKOUT. CENA LOCKS IN THE STF AND I KNOW YOU'RE THINKING "OH GOD THAT'S GONNA LOOK HORRIBLE" BUT ACTUALLY IT'LL LOOK EVEN MORE DEVASTATING THAN IT USUALLY DOES. HENRY TAPS OUT AND LIVES IN SHAME FOR THE REST OF HIS CAREER.
BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD
JOBBING AT THE
RANDY ORTON
IS GOING TO WIN A MONEY IN THE BANK BRIEFCASE AND TURN HEEL. OR MAYBE DANIEL BRYAN. OR NEITHER. I HAVEN'T REALLY DECIDED WHO SHOULD WIN, BUT I DEFINITELY KNOW THAT CM PUNK IS NOT WINNING, BECAUSE KANE'S REPLACEMENT IS GOING TO BE CURTIS AXEL AND CM PUNK WILL GRAB THE MIC AND BE LIKE "OH FUCK THIS I HATE YOU PAUL I HATE YOU VINCE I HATE EVERYTHING I'M A WHINY NERD WHO LIKES HOCKEY AND TWITTER AND TATTOOS WAH WAH WAH WHY CAN'T I HAVE MY WAY" BECAUSE HE'S A BITCHASS BITCH. FUCK IT, SHEAMUS WINS.
GET THE APP
FUCK YEAH RYBACK!
MAN IT FEELS GOOD TO SAY THAT AGAIN, HE'S GONNA BREAK OUT OF THE WALLS OF JERICHO. HE'S THEN GOING TO HIT JERICHO WITH 502 VARIATIONS OF AN ARMBAR BEFORE THE SHELL-SHOCK FOR THREE. THEN, RYBACK WILL PUT JERICHO ON HIS SHOULDERS AGAIN AND CLIMB TO THE TOP OF A LADDER AND SHELL SHOCK HIM FROM THERE, WHICH WILL SIDELINE JERICHO FOR HOWEVER LONG HIS BAND IS PLAYING THIS TIME. I GOTTA GO CHECK THEM OUT. "IRVINE AND THE MUPPETS", RIGHT?
GET THE APP
SOME FAT FUCK
AND HIS INBRED FRIENDS BEAT UP KANE. SECURITY WOULD HAVE KEPT THEM OUT OF THE BUILDING IF THEY DIDN'T LOOK LIKE HALF THE AUDIENCE. I DOUBT YOU'LL SEE THEM TONIGHT, HE'S REALLY FAT SO WALKING OVER TO KANE AFTER BUBBA AND CLETUS GOT DONE WAS PROBABLY VERY TIRING AND HE MAY HAVE PULLED A MUSCLE GETTING OUT OF THE ROCKING CHAIR.
SERIOUSLY GET THE GODDAMN APP
ALBERTO DEL RIO
IS GOING TO RETAIN THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP AFTER BEATING DOLPH ZIGGLER CLEAN WITH THE CROSS-ARM BREAKER. SORRY, BUT WHEN YOU GET A CONCUSSION YOU ARE RELEGATED TO MIDCARD FOR A YEAR. IT'S A RULE IN THE WELLNESS POLICY, IN A SECTION... I BELIEVE IT WAS TITLED "FUCK YOU SMARKS" BUT I COULD BE MISTAKEN ON THE EXACT WORDING OF THE NAME.
AJ LEE AND KAITLYN
BONER ACHIEVED
NOTE TO SELF: DIVAS APP
JACK SWAGGER
IS GOING TO WIN THE OTHER MONEY IN THE BANK MATCH BECAUSE OUT OF ALL OF THE POSSIBLE CHOICES HE SEEMS LIKE THE ONE THAT WILL PISS SMARKS OFF THE MOST. AGAIN, REFER TO THE IMAGE ON THE LEFT IF YOU WISH TO FILE A COMPLAINT.
ROB VAN DAM
WOULD RATHER GET PAID TO BE A JOBBER HERE THAN GET PAID TO BE A JOBBERER JOBBER IN TNA.
WIN-WIN, BITCHES!
ALL THIS AND MUCH MORE
8pm ET/5pm PT
ON
PPV
DON'T FORGET THE PRESHOW ON YOUTUBE
AND DON'T FORGET GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING MONEY
APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP APP