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Post by Ed Becker on Apr 7, 2013 20:46:16 GMT -6
Phrasal Blight: Wow, they're just going to trade finishers until Cena hits his, aren't they. Wizard.
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Post by verbaltoxin on Apr 7, 2013 20:47:01 GMT -6
And NOBODY CARES, except for that one 5 year old they found. Seriously half this audience is already waiting in the subway station.
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Post by jimfromsaintpaul on Apr 7, 2013 20:47:58 GMT -6
Crowd Booing the shit out of this.
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Post by styckx on Apr 7, 2013 20:48:17 GMT -6
Awful match
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Post by gunnyhighway on Apr 7, 2013 20:48:30 GMT -6
That Patrick Star sign is awesome.
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Post by verbaltoxin on Apr 7, 2013 20:48:47 GMT -6
They changed to Rock's music so the crowd would stop booing.
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Post by sharktrager on Apr 7, 2013 20:49:30 GMT -6
Please tell me he's saying goodbye.
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Post by Ed Becker on Apr 7, 2013 20:50:19 GMT -6
Rocky's channeling Richard Dawson?
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Post by jimfromsaintpaul on Apr 7, 2013 20:51:38 GMT -6
Crowd booing the final moment. Bet you won;t hear THAT on RAW.
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Post by styckx on Apr 7, 2013 20:52:11 GMT -6
The last Impact wrestling was better than this.. Well. Every impact wrestling for the past 6 months was better than this..
No surprises, no returns, no swerves no.. Fucking nothing.. People paid $60 for advertising.
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Post by gunnyhighway on Apr 7, 2013 20:55:40 GMT -6
I need to get off Twitter now. All the indy wrestlers are going to their battle stations to tell all the "arm chair fans" they dont know what they are talking about. I fucking hate this shit.
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Post by jimfromsaintpaul on Apr 7, 2013 20:55:50 GMT -6
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Post by Auntie Cheesus on Apr 7, 2013 20:57:28 GMT -6
Frith on a biscuit, that was the worst Wrestlemania I have ever watched. I would have been better off staying upstairs and watching a replay of IMPACT on the DVR.
Hell, I'd have been better off watching ANYTHING ELSE. I say we start a class action suit against the WWE for wasting 4 hours of our lives.
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Post by verbaltoxin on Apr 7, 2013 20:58:39 GMT -6
I need to get off Twitter now. All the indy wrestlers are going to their battle stations to tell all the "arm chair fans" they dont know what they are talking about. I fucking hate this shit. Fuck them. They only care because their friends got a payday. They don't care if fans were happy or not.
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Post by pmoneyallstar on Apr 7, 2013 21:02:48 GMT -6
The last Impact wrestling was better than this.. Well. Every impact wrestling for the past 6 months was better than this.. No surprises, no returns, no swerves no.. Fucking nothing.. People paid $60 for advertising. FARK you. At least I have it on my dvr. The Re-watch is on. Hobblekitty is all partied out and passed out in her chair. Lol
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Post by Smart Ass Monkey on Apr 7, 2013 21:07:06 GMT -6
Approximately 1:45 of a 4 hour show was dedicated to bell-to-bell match time. 45%.
45% of motherfucking Wrestlemania was actual match time. that means if you bought the HD version, only $31.50 of your $70 was spent on wrestling.
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Post by Ed Becker on Apr 7, 2013 21:08:38 GMT -6
Yeah. Outside of Punk/Taker, there wasn't much there. What I saw (starting with the WHC match) was okay but nothing too remarkable. Maybe I'll ramble later when I've overserved myself.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2013 21:19:47 GMT -6
for those who are wondering what to watch and what to skip:
watch only the last 2 and a half minutes of the rock/cena match, and watch the crowd boo the piss out of it.
watch the entire punk/taker match, it was solid.
if you're a masochist and like watching a ziggler sell-a-thon go ahead and watch the tag title match otherwise skip it.
they bumped the mixed tag match.
watch bork/HHH
del rio/swagger wasn't bad. it's TV match stuff though for the most part
henry/ryback is painful and all you need to see is the ending to understand how painful
watch the shield match.
watch the hall of fame thing because trish finally has bigger boobs than mick foley, also bruno
diddy was good. can't believe I just typed that
yeah, there's your biggest show of the year. that's what happens when the top of the card is all shat out at the last minute.
just think, this PPV could have been the following (imperfect, but where it seemed they were headed)
John Cena vs. The Rock vs. CM Punk (C) for the WWE Championship I would have had The Rock go over here on Punk instead of at the Royal Rumble (yes, just to end his title reign without giving the belt directly to Cena) and then have the rematch all over the internet by 9AM for tomorrow's RAW, where they could put it on either Punk or Cena and get Rock off TV.
The Big Show vs. Ryback for the World Heavyweight Championship Boring match, but necessary. Ryback wins after a slobberknocker, but won't have long to celebrate.
Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar Same story, same ending.
Wait, what about Undertaker? And that six man tag match? Pfft...
The Undertaker vs. Dean Ambrose - have Taker lay the challenge down to The Shield - they must fight each other in a triple threat match and the winner will face him at Wrestlemania. Shield agrees, thinking they have a sure-fire shot at ending Taker's streak. Unfortunately for them, the two men not named Dean Ambrose will have their hands full at Mania with Orton and Sheamus - meaning that while they may be able to accompany Ambrose to ringside, they aren't necessarily going to be in any condition to be out there by then. Cue the "Somethings Gotta Give" Michael Cole as they book Shield's undefeated streak vs. Undertaker's. Have all three of them desecrate the urn just like Punk did. Taker overcomes it, barely, and keeps the streak - but suffers a triple powerbomb through a table after the match, leaving everyone wondering if he won the battle but lost the war.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger could still happen, story intact, but not for the WHC. Maybe for the United States Championship? You know, so the whole "MURICA" storyline would at least be for the Murica Title?
Oh, and Team Hell No vs. Ziggler and Big E was fine. In fact, I'd have had them go over on Hell No, then ambush Ryback after the WHC match and Ziggles cashes in on a defenseless man-beast. Then Ryback chases the belt with a seemingly insurmountable force in Ziggler and Langston, Tag Team champs and Zig as WHC, which could stretch for as long as they want.
Hell, Ziggles-Langston-AJ are like a McMahon-Helmsley type thing in the making if they played their cards right.
Look at that, took me how long to make a better Mania card out of what they had in front of them before the Royal Rumble?
But no, we got a mostly meh show.
There were fun moments but nothing remotely resembling a show you dump three $20's on. I'm off to go drink myself to the point where I think I'm watching the fake PPV I just came up with.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2013 21:24:49 GMT -6
Smiths: Today at 3:30pm , Senile Vince wrote: oh you knew damn well you were getting one of these TONIGHT THE GRANDDADDY OF THEM ALL WRESTLEFUCKINGMANIA i finally read this as i am passing out and i spasmed my back laughing. Awesome job, good sir I originally was going to write that out like a week ago but I decided to give it as much thought and planning as WWE did for this year's show and do the entire thing at the last minute.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2013 21:59:58 GMT -6
Smiths: Today at 10:24pm , Senile Vince wrote: Smiths : Today at 3:30pm , Senile Vince wrote: oh you knew damn well you were getting one of these TONIGHT THE GRANDDADDY OF THEM ALL WRESTLEFUCKINGMANIA i finally read this as i am passing out and i spasmed my back laughing. Awesome job, good sir I originally was going to write that out like a week ago but I decided to give it as much thought and planning as WWE did for this year's show and do the entire thing at the last minute. I'm not kidding about the back spasm. With all the box moving, lifting, TV mounting, etc in home purchase/moving... My back is shot. I am in bed, positioning myself in the least painful position... And I read your thing and twitch to the left as pain shoots through my side. Awesome Ouch, hope that eases up soon.
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Post by Ed Becker on Apr 8, 2013 4:44:51 GMT -6
Jesus. Tired and drunk.
Mania was very pedestrian. Very little "star power" on the card with the exception of Punk/Taker. We all knew how the end of that ride was gonna be, but they were able to work it so that we didn't care. Brock/HHH had its moments, especially leading to the finish. Rock/Cena was a foregone conclusion.
Here's where WWE is missing it: The matches seem like video games. boom boom boom. No reason to care. No selling shit. Just a bunch of moves and a finisher. They just seem to put out people and whatever. Yes, they are a machine but they're killing themselves. Let's be Hollywood. Let's move merch. Anyone of you who shit on the carny history of wrestling are way off. You don't get the basis of the platform. And neither does WWE anymore. Slow the shit down a little, let it breathe. The ref is wired so he can tell you to go home for TV's sake.
Guys don't know how to work because they were never allowed to learn how to work and there were no territories where they could actually learn how to work.
/drizunk //may poop soon
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Post by sharktrager on Apr 8, 2013 10:52:51 GMT -6
Smiths: HHH/Brock? Okay yay... HHH wins and Brock completes a year with WWE making far more money than anyone. And gets another 2 years of doing the exact same shit. He's the smartest fucker there is right now. HHH gets to say he defended THIS BUSINESS-UH The Brock contract is the second best proof that the statement "Vince is a millionaire who should be billionaire" is spot on. Smiths: Rock/Cena was just horrible. And not in a "dammit Cena won" bullshit thing. It was just a terrible match, and unlike last year didn't have the "oomph" behind it. It was about a guy who has main evented every PPV since last year's Wrestlemania somehow complaining that he lost his stride and his life is shit. Despite him main eventing every PPV and ALWAYS being in the title hunt. throw in an actor who is slowly crossing into "Foley Land" of "oh yay.... him" and it was a receipe for stupid. It lacked oomph because Rock doesn't care and Cena feels entitled. There wasn't a hungry guy in the ring on either side. Rock has absolutely coasted on this one. His effort was the definition of "the least I could do". Cena has floundered because you have a guy who is the perpetual champ and main eventer still trying to hang on to the "overcoming the odds" storyline, and whose attitude is that everyone else on the card is irrelevant and serves only to support his role. Making it worse, it's clear neither even really enjoys wrestling anymore. They are both just playing a role and cashing a check.
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Post by verbaltoxin on Apr 8, 2013 15:21:06 GMT -6
Jesus. Tired and drunk. Mania was very pedestrian. Very little "star power" on the card with the exception of Punk/Taker. We all knew how the end of that ride was gonna be, but they were able to work it so that we didn't care. Brock/HHH had its moments, especially leading to the finish. Rock/Cena was a foregone conclusion. Here's where WWE is missing it: The matches seem like video games. boom boom boom. No reason to care. No selling shit. Just a bunch of moves and a finisher. They just seem to put out people and whatever. Yes, they are a machine but they're killing themselves. Let's be Hollywood. Let's move merch. Anyone of you who shit on the carny history of wrestling are way off. You don't get the basis of the platform. And neither does WWE anymore. Slow the shit down a little, let it breathe. The ref is wired so he can tell you to go home for TV's sake. Guys don't know how to work because they were never allowed to learn how to work and there were no territories where they could actually learn how to work. /drizunk //may poop soon You say wrestlers don't know how to work, but you should watch Chikara or Championship Wrestling from Hollywood sometime. Pretty Peter Avalon and Ray Rosas are 10 x the tag team, 10 x the tag workers, and 10 x more over than any WWE tag team, and the largest place they play is some hotel ballroom in Glendale. WWE doesn't let wrestlers work. They do great in the indies, do great on NXT, but if they get called up, they have to cut their moveset in half and work WWE style. They also get 5-10 min. TV time a week and it's totally scripted.
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Post by lurch_E_bean on Apr 8, 2013 22:08:02 GMT -6
Stream of conscious posting that no one cares about while watching Wrestlemania tonight:
Miz has put on some shitty figure fours the past few weeks, but I don't think I've ever seen a figure four come out of nowhere like that before, so props to him.
Show goes heel (again) to the surprise of absolutely no one...
I am completely shocked that Ryback lost clean to Mizark.
Might want to break up that pin a little faster, Big E, the ref kind of counted to three there...
I was really, really, really hoping Jericho getting jobbed out to Fandango would be worthwhile. NOPE! Fuck you, Fandango, you suck.
Another shitty Wrestlemania concert, thank God I can skip it this time.
Thwagger gets a jeep with Don't Tread on Me Flags for his big Wrestlemania entrance... yet he STILL gets a jobber entrance?!? WTF?
Every second del Rio spent celebrating his win felt like an eternity as I was waiting for Big E to run out and truck him with Ziggler in tow.
Jesus, that Undertaker entrance was creepy with all the shadowy hands...
Punk trying to get in Taker's head with "U mad, bro?"
*cue Japanese table laugh*
Finally, a match lives up to (good) expectations. Punk/Taker was pretty amazing.
What the fuck is on HHH's stomach?
I think HHH ordered the Spanish announce table to no-sell Punk/Taker just so he could go through it...
I think HBK plays the part of HHH's concerned wife better than Stephanie ever did.
END IT BROCK! END IT OR I WILL! END IT BROCK! END IT OR I WILL! END IT BROCK! END IT OR I WILL! END IT BROCK! END IT OR I WILL! END IT BROCK! END IT OR I WILL!
Crowd seemed bored as shit for most of that match. Can't really blame them...
Did I miss the mixed tag match? More importantly... do I care?
Cena with the *Stevie Richards* Crossface! Kinda...
By the end of this match, Cena will have kicked out of 7 Rock Bottoms, 4 People's Elbows, and a gunshot wound to the neck.
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Post by Ed Becker on Apr 9, 2013 3:32:47 GMT -6
Phrasal Blight: You say wrestlers don't know how to work, but you should watch Chikara or Championship Wrestling from Hollywood sometime. Pretty Peter Avalon and Ray Rosas are 10 x the tag team, 10 x the tag workers, and 10 x more over than any WWE tag team, and the largest place they play is some hotel ballroom in Glendale.
What I meant by that was guys don't get the seasoning, for lack of a better term, that they got in the past. Even if a motivated young guy works 3 or 4 days a week, it's usually for a different promoter or booker each time so they usually have no consistency in critique. I'm somewhat familiar with CWFH thanks to Adam Pearce's involvement in that I try to follow guys that I knew from my Mid American days. I always enjoy seeing the boys get a shot. As far as Chikara goes, I'd appreciate a few links to some matches as you seem to know them pretty well and I just see the goofy stuff, so my opinion may be clouded. If you can post some links, I'll give them a fair shot. I always had a ton of respect for Quack, just never really got into them. Phrasal Blight: WWE doesn't let wrestlers work. They do great in the indies, do great on NXT, but if they get called up, they have to cut their moveset in half and work WWE style. They also get 5-10 min. TV time a week and it's totally scripted. I agree with this totally. And therein lies the problem: an excellent worker gets signed to WWE developmental and is taught their style and ends up getting neutered. And then saddled with a shitty gimmick.
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